Earmuffs

Earmuffs AKA I just needed ice for my beer! 

In a small Florida town, where marinas and bars outnumber gas stations, and red lights are a rare sight, I found myself on a Sunday afternoon, fresh from a day of fishing and drinking with friends. This charming town, often jokingly referred to as a “drinking town with a fishing problem,” is a favorite haunt of mine.

As we docked our boat and headed to the local bar, I couldn’t help but feel at ease in this laid-back atmosphere. In this small town, where everyone gets around in golf carts, mine was already stocked with a cooler full of beer. My pre-bedtime ritual usually involves stopping by the ice machine to stock up for the next day’s adventures.

But on this fateful night, my plans took an unexpected turn. While scooping ice into my cooler, I ran into my buddy who asked about the local dive bar. I told him it was open, and he suggested we check it out. Despite my reservations, I agreed, and we hopped on the golf cart, bound for the bar.

The dive bar was packed and wild, with the two of us adding to the chaos, drinking and laughing into the night. That’s when two women walked in, and we struck up a conversation. I was feeling bold, and before I knew it, I had jokingly remarked that if one of them kept up her antics, I’d be wearing her thighs as earmuffs. I looked at my buddy and whispered, “I hope I didn’t just let my mouth write a check my butt can’t cash.” He just chuckled and shook his head.

To my surprise, the women found it hilarious, and we continued to drink, dance, and have the time of our lives.

As last call approached, we grabbed one more beer and headed out into the parking lot. My buddy took off with one of the women, leaving me with the other. And then, in a moment that still takes my breath away, she pushed me to my knees, slid her skirt up, and said, “Time to cash that check.” I looked up at her, feeling a mix of shock and excitement, and said, “I guess my whisper wasn’t a whisper after all.” She just smiled and said, “You have no idea.”

It was an experience I won’t soon forget. After it was all over, I hopped on my golf cart, still grinning from ear to ear, and rode off into the night, feeling like the luckiest guy alive. And as it turns out, I still keep in touch with her, and we still share a laugh or two about that unforgettable night – all because I needed ice for my beer.